There are many injustices in the world, and technically the following ranks relatively low on the list, but is there any challenge facing humanity right now that is more dire than the shortage of Cadbury Mini Eggs?
Seriously, how is it we’re heading into Easter this weekend and have more chance of winning a Powerball or spotting a sasquatch in Subiaco than we do of finding a pack of Mini Eggs in the wild?
The big supermarket chains had hot cross buns on the shelves just after Christmas – no complaints here, I’ve always thought they should be a year-round treat.
But how is it we deserve nearly four months of hot crossies, yet the opportunity for purchasing Mini Eggs this year seems to have been restricted to a 25-minute window three Tuesdays ago?
And, despite my best efforts to locate these candy-coated wonders online, it’d be easier to purchase a spleen on the dark web (hey, I’m sure you’ve bought stupider things on Temu).
So, what is going on here, and why do Cadbury hate us so much?
For starters, we must divest ourselves of the notion that Cadbury is Australian or cares about Australia more than it does any other modestly sized market around the world.
Though it has shipped chocolate Down Under since 1881, and has had manufacturing facilities in this country since 1922, the company has always been British, at least until it was swallowed up by the American multinational Mondelez in 2010.
Yes, there have been Aussie-specific products, such as the iconic Freddo, but that was developed by a dinky-di Australian confectionary company that Cadbury acquired in the 1960s.
That company, MacRobertsons, also conceived Old Gold and the Cherry Ripe.
Going back to Mini Eggs, those addictively delicious treats are not even made here – they’re imported from bloody Poland!
This perhaps explains why they are so hard to come by – we have no local control over production and are fighting with every other market to obtain stock.
And many Aussies may not realise that this fight is surprisingly fierce.
Mini Eggs are immensely popular in their native UK, where a huge social media campaign recently ramped up demand even further.
Over in America, the Yanks really only know Cadbury because Mini Eggs and Creme Eggs have historically appeared at Easter, making them a prized novelty for the season.
Also in the US, Krispy Kreme this month launched a collab with Cadbury to feature Mini Eggs on a new seasonal doughnut.
Australia, as usual, slips down the pecking order, and now we find ourselves in a situation where Mini Eggs are a supply chain casualty, because stock is diverted to bigger, more profitable markets.
I wish there was some good news to finish this column, or hope on the horizon, but the reality is our Mini Egg shortage can only be fixed if a multinational prioritises Australia, and that just doesn’t happen very often.