Give it all the lights and pyro that you want, but has this got enough bright young things by to reel in the real young things? In its heyday, you’d expect your nostalgia fixes to be vibrant (Pete Burns! Jackie ‘yeah, Jackie!’ Stallone! Ivana Trump!) and accompanied by a going concern or two: Preston from the Ordinary Boys or Donny Tourette from Towers of London adding a bit of Winehouse-era London cool. Instead, we seem to have a bunch of Chantelle Houghtons marauding as celebrities while the quota of old-timers with a bit of good goss and a side lot of arthritic moans has been over-indexed.
It’s been 23 years since Jack Dee became the first winner of Celebrity Big Brother. And since 2001, the year, coincidentally I went to university (showing just how long ago that was) celebrity culture has eaten itself.