I feel like I’m burning the wick at both ends to make financial ends meet. I’m struggling and on top of it, now, my relationship is also struggling. My partner has told me that I’m burnt out and that I should talk to someone, not sure where to even start.
When I hear the word ‘burnout’, it’s typical of someone who has experienced long-term stress.
Burnout doesn’t simply appear one day, it accumulates day-by-day, until you can’t ignore it any longer.
Although people can sustain intense levels of stress for a short period of time, it’s not manageable for long, drawn-out periods of time.
Burnout is something that typically affects people who are highly committed to the work they do, probably much like you.
When these people are faced with a stressful situation, often, they respond with complete commitment, by working intensely hard at resolving it.
To do this, they will work all hours, cancel vacations, and cut back on sleep, all to make more time to tackle the problem.
If this is short-lived, then negative effects will be minimal, and success will often be spectacular. If this hard work is sustained for a long period of time without relief, these people increasingly risk burnout.
Rest is what we do to let stress subside…yes, rest! Rest at the end of a day, and at the end of a week, helps us to calm down and essentially reset.
Doing fun things that we enjoy in our leisure time compensates us for the unpleasant stress we experience at work, bringing some balance back into life. This is particularly important if we routinely experience unpleasant levels of stress.
A good way of getting rest and reducing long-term stress is to take up an enjoyable, non-rushed sport or hobby.
If you spend all your working day competing, then can it be very pleasant to be completely non-competitive for some of your free time.
Slow physical activities such as sailing or walking are good for this, as are others where there is little or no pressure for performance. Reading novels, watching television or socializing can also be very restful.
Make sure that you get enough good quality rest during the week to keep on enjoying life to its fullest.
On average, people need eight hours of sleep a night (although this can vary between three hours and eleven hours, depending on the person and their age). If we are regularly short of sleep, then our concentration and our effectiveness suffer, and our energy levels decline.
Lack of sleep diminishes our effectiveness in our job, and can, therefore, increase stress.
As our concentration wanders, we start to make mistakes. As our energy declines, we become less proactive in what we do, reducing our control over events.
This means that a situation that is already difficult and stressful can become worse, needing even more sacrifice to bring it back under control.
If you feel as though you can’t get on top of being burnt out…yes, please go and talk to a professional.
Because after all, your mental health matters….a lot! There are ‘low-cost/no-cost’ options available, but you must be willing to seek the help, be honest and get the support needed.
If you work, your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is a free first step in the right direction, utilise the 1300 & 1800 options available across Australia and then find the solution that fits you best to make sure that your mental health is managed and that it also doesn’t negatively impact your relationship.
Your Bestie,
Amanda x
Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with almost two decades of experience who takes pride in her “no b-s” approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business which have sold more than 150,000 copies.
Do you have a question for Amanda? Email heybestie@wanews.com.au (don’t worry, we won’t publish your name!)