Welcome to Delicious or Distressing, where we rate recent food memes, videos, and other entertainment news. Last week we discussed the rumor circulating on TikTok that Europeans don’t believe in water.
It’s inexplicable. It’s ineffable. It’s Lana Del Rey working behind the counter at Waffle House. This canon event begs so many questions that my brain struggles to bear the weight of them. Primarily: Why did she do it? Is this performance art? This cultural motif—celebrity-working-in-normal-place—is well worn. Think Ben Affleck at the Dunkin’ drive-through or, more recently, David Letterman bagging groceries. It’s an uncanny, sort of delightful phenomenon, like seeing your teacher at the grocery store.
Paling in comparison, this week, but also begging many questions, Trader Joe’s is recalling a cookie that potentially—emphasis on potentially—contains rocks. An $88 jug of water has found an audience of haters on TikTok. Lastly, Popeyes bundled a bunch of its sides and called them Girl Dinner. Hit the nail on the head, Popeyes.
Here’s what else is happening in food moments on the internet this week.
I spend a lot of time—one might say too much—wondering what Lana Del Rey is up to. Usually, I feel confident the singer is in California, writing songs about driving around in old-school cars and getting picked up in old-school cars. But I must tell you that the singer is decidedly not in California at the moment. I know this because Twitter absolutely exploded late last week when photos started to circulate of our very famous queen in full uniform as she clocked a shift at a Waffle House in Florence, Alabama. She filled coffee orders, sang Amazing Grace with a diner as he finished breakfast (as one does?), and generally made me wish this was an entire reality show and not just some bizarre string of unexplained fan-captured photos and videos. If you’re wondering how many shifts Lana worked, whether or not the appearance is a stunt connected to a song off her latest album (in which she mentions the Alabama city), or have any other questions involving the words Lana Del Rey and Waffle House, the answer is I have absolutely no clue. When it comes to the ever-mysterious lore of Lana, maybe it’s best that we just mind our business. 4.5/5 delicious. —Elazar Sontag, restaurant editor
Snack maven Trader Joe’s rarely misses, pumping out a new little treat seemingly on the daily. TJBCD (Trader Joe’s Buffalo chicken dip, in layman’s terms)? Gone in two days, max. Oven-baked cheese bites? Extra bags at the ready. Reminding us that she’s human, TJs very much missed this week by somehow, somewhere, incorporating rocks into three cookie varieties, forcing the company to cryptically recall all of the cookies’ stock. According to the official recall, they may contain rocks. Why the gray area, TJ? Just spitballing here: Maybe somebody mistook an industrial-sized bag of rocks for an industrial-sized bag of chocolate chips. My feeble imagination fails to conjure any other reasonable explanation. Here’s hoping no rock-related injuries have occurred as a result. 1.3/5 distressing. —Li Goldstein, digital production assistant
TikTok has sold me some frankly stupid things (yes, I’m referring to the hand-pump espresso machine which, predictably, was horrible), but I’m thrilled to share that I’ve, at the very least, never bought artisanal water. To be fair, Alive Water isn’t regular water—it’s “high vibe water, and you can feel it,” says TikToker @elevatewithelliestiles, who is j’addicted to the brand. I cannot even begin to imagine what she means, but I…kind of have a soft spot in my heart for water weirdos. She goes on to explain that this water is sourced from natural springs with “zero industrial contamination” and that it contains beneficial minerals—even though the same minerals can be found in other bottled spring waters. I am obviously tempted to dismiss this as fully distressing influencer malarky, but something about the sheer absurdity of “high vibe water” has flipped an internal switch in me. If this water for some reason makes her feel good, why shouldn’t she enjoy the vibes? I’m deeming this news a hydrated, vibed-up 4.7/5 delicious. —Sam Stone, staff writer
If you thought “girl dinner” was limited to a mishmash of cheeses and crackers eaten from the comfort of your own couch, you are wrong. Popeyes recently added its own version of the TikTok craze machine’s latest creation—a trend that has garnered over 224 million collective views under its hashtag—to its menu. This version of “Girl Dinner” features the chain’s usual (delicious!) sides: Mashed Potatoes with Cajun Gravy, Homestyle Mac & Cheese, Red Beans & Rice, Coleslaw, Cajun Fries, and A la Carte Biscuits. The only downside? It’s not a combo meal: You have to order each item individually. In other words, Popeyes’ “Girl Dinner” is just Popeyes’ dinner…without the chicken. That said, I can’t fault anyone for ordering from the “Girl Dinner” tab. Our time on earth is limited and we should take every opportunity possible to fill our days with joy—and if that means clicking “Girl Dinner” just to have the bragging right, I say live it up! 3/5 delicious. — Esra Erol, senior social media manager