IT’S easy to say you’re addicted to something; perhaps you can’t stay away from the snack cupboard after dinner, or maybe you find that your love of online shopping is leaving you penniless.
However, being truly addicted to something can be incredibly distressing and mentally challenging.
But, what’s the difference between a true addiction and simply wanting something?
Lauren White is an addiction counsellor, motivational speaker and life coach.
She said: “The difference between an addiction and really liking something is when you physically, emotionally and mentally cannot stop.
“No willpower alone will stop you from doing the thing you’re addicted to.”
She added: “Liking something or experiencing a craving is just a strong desire to do it, such as really wanting a slice of cake at 3pm, whereas an addiction is a compulsive need, even when you know the potentially negative consequence/s that can come with it.”
In fact, an addiction to something, whether it be social media, vapes or sugar, can leave you unable to function without it.
Only you truly know how you feel.
What makes something addictive?
As Lauren explains, there are qualities that make something more addictive, however in her time as a counsellor and coach, Lauren has known people to be addicted to eating toilet paper and even drinking their own urine.
Lauren said: “Usually It’s a substance or an activity but generally it’s something that gives a reward or pleasure. “
“Humans are usually motivated to seek reward and the reward centre of the brain gets affected when they touch a substance,” she said, who adds that the feel-good hormone dopamine is released whenever a person experiences their addiction.
“What makes something more addictive is usually a drug that evokes a strong dopamine response like sugar for example.
“Depending on the type of substance they are addicted to will also dictate how long it will take for them to overcome it.”
Why are some people more prone to addiction than others?
Although there are reasons as to why some things are easier to become addicted to, Lauren adds that some people are generally more likely to suffer from addiction.
She said: “The roots of addiction usually stem from a traumatic experience in our life that affects us and leads us to use something to change the way we feel in order to cope.”
Plus, Lauren explains that mental health issues, low self esteem and self worth plus genetics are also a factor.
She said: “Although there is no real cause behind addiction, there is a belief that it’s a brain disease and you can be born with it, however environmental factors can trigger it off too.”
But do remember, anyone can have an addiction and it can take over your life if you don’t get honest about it.
Helping yourself overcome your addiction
Feel as though you have an addiction?
Lauren says that although it can be hard to let go of an addiction without seeing an expert, there are steps you can take to relieve yourself from the hold that addiction can have over you.
She said: “It can take a while for someone to overcome an addiction, but if they work on themselves daily and stay away from the addiction it can take six to 12 months, however it’s a daily working progress,” adds Lauren.
1. Own up and take action
“The first thing is actually admitting you have a problem,” said Lauren.
“This is the hardest thing because people are scared to surrender to their addictions.
“There is a lot of shame that comes with being an ‘addict’ and it means you have to actually deal with the problem which in someone’s eyes is often the solution to their problems.”
For example, if you’re feeling stressed or under pressure, you might turn to sugar as a relief, when in reality, this is the thing you’re trying to turn away from, as in the longer term, it’s doing you more bad than good.
Substance abuse and turning to something to change the way you feel is a coping mechanism that many people use
Lauren White
Lauren said: “Most people who turn to addictions find it hard to live life on life’s terms and when they touch a substance or activity of their choice it takes them out of reality and helps them not feel the feelings at that moment in time.
“It’s very hard to admit you have a problem but you must remember there is nothing wrong with it.
“It’s about changing the way you see it and realising the only way you can change is by doing something about it.”
She added: “Getting honest means fully surrendering into the issues that are going on in your life.
“They say secrets keep us sick, but once you admit there’s a problem, that’s when you are being honest not only to others but to yourself.”
2. Identify your triggers
When are you turning to your addiction? Knowing when, where and why is key to sorting the problem.
Lauren said that hunger, anger, loneliness and feeling tired are often triggers, but a trigger can also be a reminder of something in your life that was unpleasant such as a place, a situation, a person or a date.
It could be listening to people argue when you grew up in a house of people arguing, or entering a bar that you used to drink in with an ex partner.
She said: “Usually when someone is triggered, this is when they go into flight, fight and freeze mode to cope with it.
“Substance abuse and turning to something to change the way you feel is a coping mechanism that many people use.”
Having more awareness about when you experience urges means you can then try and prolong the urge by finding new healthier habits to cope with that moment in time, such as fitness, hobbies or even picking up the phone and talking to someone.
Once the addiction is out of your system it’s about focusing on the underlying issue
Lauren White
Other healthier habits include getting enough sleep so that you feel you can crack on with the day, getting into a healthy routine and structure, putting boundaries in place with people and learning to say ‘no’ and taking a step back when you feel as though you’re going to burn out.
Lauren said: “Surround yourself with people that fully accept you for you, bring you up rather than bring you down.
“These people are people that support you on your journey whatever it is- you know deep down if they are right for you.
“These people are people that support you on your journey whatever it is- you know deep down if they are right for you.”
She recommends reaching out to someone whenever you are struggling and getting honest about your struggles with this person.
Ask them if they mind you contacting them whenever you feel triggered so you can use this person as a sounding board and a way to fight the urge.
3. Don’t be afraid of setbacks
If you’ve been addicted to something for a while, don’t expect to get over your addiction overnight.
Lauren said: “Your brain needs to take time to reset itself and you’ll have withdrawals.
“Once the addiction is out of your system it’s about focusing on the underlying issue which is actually the person and the reason why they touched the addiction in the first place.
“Therapy is often necessary here to get to a place of dealing with the feelings, thoughts and trauma.”
She added: “There shouldn’t be any shame when you have a setback and go back to your addiction.
“If you’ve been doing something for a certain amount of time then it’s going to take a while to break that habit and addiction.
“There will always be triggers and environmental factors that will make it harder for you to fully remove the addition.”
If you relapse or go back to your addiction, accept the situation, move on from it, focus on the next 10 minutes and then go back to day one.
She said: “The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about it because that will put you in a position where you want your addiction more in a bid to get out of that reality and avoid the shame and guilt of the relapse.”
4. Maintain
Staying away from your addiction and avoiding your triggers is by no means easy.
But, in order to overcome your addiction, you need to maintain that distance.
Lauren said: “This is the hardest thing to do when overcoming an addiction.
“The minute you go back to old behaviours, old environments, old ways; that’s when you end up being in a vulnerable position.
“You need to continue to do exactly what you were doing in your action phase and not take your foot off the pedal.
“Remember your recovery comes first before anything because if you do begin to go back to old habits, ways and behaviours you can end up going back to the addiction.”
Be prepared to face challenges and issues and always remember to have action and prevention plans in place plus a tool box for when this happens.
This could be a journal you write in, daily affirmations, quotes that help you stay positive and daily reminders on your phone that help you stay on track.
5. Seeking help
It can be helpful to see a counsellor or therapist, to help open up about and overcome your addiction.
She said: “A lot of people justify their behaviour and they end up carrying on and thinking that they can sort it out in years to come but it doesn’t get any better.
“People think they need to hit rock bottom and think there are people worse off; if you think you have a problem then I’m pretty sure you have a problem.
Read more on the Scottish Sun
“If it’s taking over your life and you are suffering inside then do something about it immediately. You will save yourself a whole life of suffering. You want to live, not just exist.”
For confidential support and to find an addiction counsellor near you, visit the Addiction Professionals network.
What is addiction and what can people be addicted to?
Addiction is a common problem, but help is available.
Addiction is defined as not having control over doing, taking or using something to the point where it could be harmful to you.
Addiction is most commonly associated with gambling, drugs, alcohol and smoking, but it’s possible to be addicted to just about anything, including:
- work – some people are obsessed with their work to the extent that they become physically exhausted; if your relationship, family and social life are affected and you never take holidays, you may be addicted to work
- internet – as computer and mobile phone use has increased, so too have computer and internet addictions; people may spend hours each day and night surfing the internet or gaming while neglecting other aspects of their lives
- solvents – volatile substance abuse is when you inhale substances such as glue, aerosols, petrol or lighter fuel to give you a feeling of intoxication
- shopping – shopping becomes an addiction when you buy things you don’t need or want to achieve a buzz; this is quickly followed by feelings of guilt, shame or despair
Source: The NHS