Everyone knows how a “Mission: Impossible” film works. Clever schemes. Razor-sharp timing. The best of the best at riding motorcycles backward while firing guns … riding motorcycles backward while firing guns. Also, someone takes off some kind of mask and monologues the plot while everyone waits to see if this is the one where Tom Cruise actually dies.
What if there were a thriller with none of that, but one that did contain a secret mission to destroy an extremely important computer server, trying to hide from the FBI by sneaking into the bushes, and at least a dozen uses of the word “bro”? What if it was all part of the astonishing tale of how Donald Trump and his hapless lackeys Walt Nauta and Carlos De Oliveira tried, failed, failed some more, and eventually managed to destroy the security footage at Mar-a-Lago?
Put away “Mission: Impossible” for a moment and cue the “Dragnet” theme, because the story you are about to read is true. Only this time, no names have been changed to protect these criminal muttonheads.
Friday, June 24, 2022
An attorney at the Department of Justice sends an email to an attorney for Donald Trump containing a subpoena requiring that they produce all “surveillance records, videos, images, photographs and / or CCTV footage” from locations around Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach, Florida.
1:25 PM – The attorney talks to Trump and informs him of the subpoena.
3:44 PM – Trump summons Nauta to his office.
5:00 PM – Nauta cancels plans to go with Trump to Chicago and arranges to fly back to Mar-a-Lago instead. He gives a different story about why he needs to suddenly return to the place he left less than 24 hours earlier to everyone who asks.
5:04 PM – Nauta texts Trump Employee 4, “Hey bro, you around this weekend?”
5:05 PM – Nauta texts De Oliveira, “Hey brother You working today?”
5:09 PM – Trump Employee 4 texts back that he’s “local” but has family visiting.
5:10 PM – Nauta replies, “Okay cool. No biggies” and closes with an “Enjoy bro!”
6:56 PM – De Oliveira texts Trump Employee 4. “Hey buddy how are you … Walter call me early said it was trying to get in touch with you I guess he’s coming down tomorrow I guess needs you for something.”
6:57 PM – Trump Employee 4 texts De Oliveira saying he has already texted with Nauta and that “he told me no worries.”
6:58 PM – Trump Employee 4 texts Nauta, “Bro, if you need me, I can get away for a few.”
6:59 PM – Nauta responds with a “sounds good.”
7:14 PM – Nauta sends a text to a colleague saying he is going back to Mar-a-Lago because of a “family emergency.” He highlights the nature of this emergency by including “shushing” emojis. 🤫🤫🤫
Saturday, June 25, 2022
Nauta flies back to Mar-a-Lago for his shhh! family emergency. De Oliveira sends Trump Employee 5 to pick him up at the airport. De Oliveira also tells Trump Employee 5 “not to tell anyone that Nauta is coming down because Nauta wanted the trip to remain secret.”
There are at this point at least four Trump employees aware of Nauta’s secret visit; five if you count the recipient of the “shushing” text.
6:46 PM – Trump Employee 5 brings Nauta to Mar-a-Lago and he immediately meets with De Oliveira. The two then go to the security guard booth, where they can see the surveillance video being displayed on monitors. They then go to the tunnel leading to the storage room where the infamous boxes of classified documents were stored. Along the way, Nauta uses a flashlight to point out the location of security cameras and … you just know there is security footage of Nauta using a flashlight to point out the cameras recording security footage.
Monday, June 27, 2022
9:48 AM – De Oliveira walks into an IT office where Trump Employee 4 and Trump Employee Not Appearing in This Picture are working. De Oliveira drags Trump Employee 4 out of the office.
9:49 AM – De Oliveira leads Trump Employee 4 through a basement tunnel and takes him into “a small room known as the ‘audio closet,’” because we are heavily into doing super-secret stuff by this point. Once literally in the closet, De Oliveira tells Trump Employee 4 that this is just between the two of them. Once this understanding is exchanged, he asks Trump Employee 4 how long the video is retained on the security camera server. Trump Employee 4 says he thinks it’s about 45 days. De Oliveira then says that “the boss” wants the server deleted. Trump Employee 4 says he doesn’t know how to do that, and even if he did, he doesn’t have the access rights. He tells De Oliveira that he needs to contact another Trump employee who is in charge of security. De Oliveira then tries the well-tested theory of just repeating what didn’t work the last time. He tells Trump Employee 4 that “the boss” wants the server deleted. Then he asks, “What are we going to do about it?”
What De Oliveira eventually did about it is coming up later in this article, but what Trump Employee 4 did is clear enough—because the Department of Justice has a word-for-word transcript of a conversation between two people that was held in a closet.
10:14 AM – De Oliveira texts Nauta, “Hey buddy are you working today?”
10:15 AM – De Oliveira gives up waiting for Nauta to reply and just calls him. This is one of the few conversations that the Department of Justice doesn’t have transcribed, but it lasted about a minute.
1:06 PM – Nauta texts De Oliveira, “On my way to you.”
1:31 PM – De Oliveira walks into the bushes at the northern edge of Mar-a-Lago. Nauta joins him in the bushes. Because when you really, really want to say “secret meeting,” a basement closet just isn’t good enough.
1:50 PM – De Oliveira walks back out of the bushes, goes back to the IT office, then goes back to meet Nauta again. In the bushes.
3:55 PM – Trump calls De Oliveira and speaks to him for about three and a half minutes. If a recording of this doesn’t turn up, I’m going to be disappointed. But whatever was said, the obvious hijinks appear to be over for the moment.
Monday, Aug. 8, 2022
The FBI carries out a search at Mar-a-Lago and removes 102 classified documents, 32 of which are now starring in indictments of Donald Trump.
Friday, Aug. 26, 2022
Unknown time – Nauta makes a phone call to Trump Employee 5 and asks him if “Carlos is good.” Trump Employee 5 assures Nauta that De Oliveira “is loyal” and that he would “not do anything to affect his relationship with Trump.” If this conversation did not come with background music from “The Godfather,” someone was really falling down on their job.
Later that same day – Trump Employee 5 starts a group using the Signal phone app for secure communications, and speaks to a representative of Trump’s PAC to assure them that De Oliveira is loyal. Uncovering the identity of this PAC member is way up there on the “Things I Wish I Knew” list.
Still later that day – Trump tells De Oliveira that he will get him an attorney. Donald Trump telling you that he will get you an attorney has to be one of the saddest moments in anyone’s life.
That’s the plot, so far as the indictment is concerned. And it’s a good one. There are conversations in a closet, two trips into the bushes, questions about loyalty, shush emojis, and all the “bro” anyone could want.
However, there is a coda to this story, because in October 2022 someone drained the pool at Mar-a-Lago.
An employee at Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago residence drained the resort’s swimming pool last October and ended up flooding a room where computer servers containing surveillance video logs were kept, sources familiar with the matter told CNN.
While it’s unclear if the room was intentionally flooded or if it happened by mistake, the incident occurred amid a series of events that federal prosecutors found suspicious.
Who was that employee? Multiple reports indicate that the employee who pulled the plug on that pool was Carlos De Oliveira. Apparently he never could get Trump Employee 4 to do the job, so he found a way. And yes, that way was a hilarious and over-the-top stunt, but every good action flick needs one of those.
Unfortunately for bro and buddy, based on the detailed time stamps accompanying events on the indictment, it’s clear that Nauta and De Oliveira didn’t manage to erase those videos in time to keep them from being seen directing flashlights at security cameras and sneaking into the bushes. It’s also clear that Trump Employee 4 is currently writing an autobiography for the FBI, with a heavy emphasis on events at Mar-a-Lago.
But you have to wonder: If De Oliveira knew the servers only retained images for 45 days, what was happening in September and October, after the FBI search, that needed to be covered up?
Leaving things at this point may be disappointing, but don’t worry. The next part of this story should be even more exciting.
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