The Golden Bachelor, Gerry Turner, looks for love on the celebrated ABC franchise after more than … [+]
Dating shows have always made me cringe, and that queasiness pretty much calcified after I styled contestants on several episodes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. In those years, I was able to witness the deliberate ubiquity of dare-you-to-not indulge buckets of champagne, always within reach of the hopeless millennial and Gen-Z romantics. Plied with considerable alcohol, it fueled the growing emotional fragility induced by shrewd sleep deprivation tactics disguised as midnight swims and late-night confessions. These calculated set-ups were designed to provoke hysterical meltdowns—and it worked. Again and again. And again. Given my personal blind spot of being unable to imagine anyone putting their private life on display, and you have some idea of how old I am.
The irony is that despite The Bachelor franchise’s considerable social engineering, it wasn’t just a younger audience tuning in to watch these buff, horny, young singles in paradise. Verified demographics note the median age of viewers watching ABC is 64. So, kudos to the savvy network executive who had the stroke of genius to create The Golden Bachelor featuring a 72-year-old Indiana widower looking for love after 43 years of marriage. How could I not watch? The golden “boy”– Gerry Turner–and I are about the same age. We both start the day putting in hearing aids. Gerry is tanned and handsome, has great posture, bright eyes, good teeth, and his voice is more soothing than strained. With the blessing of his two grown daughters, he seems more sincerely game to embark on another shot at love than angling to become a future co-host on Access Hollywood—though I wouldn’t bet against him winding up on Dancing with the Stars.
But The Golden Bachelor’s most uplifting surprise is that for Gerry’s potential pool of love matches, the producers eschewed casting post-midlife crisis drama queens or predatory cougars. Instead, they’ve chosen twenty-two women between the ages of 60 and 75. Despite a little too much filler here or some questionable cleavage there—plus unfortunate styling from the series’ cheese obsessed wardrobe department—the women of The Golden Bachelor are vibrant, sharp, cheeky, and energetic. They are as keen as The Golden Girls’ Blanche Devereaux was to smash the stereotype that everyone on Social Security cites their weekly canasta game as the high point of their social life. Of course, the show’s writers have peppered the women’s intros to Gerry with a full menu of innuendoes and double entendres that would have Will & Grace’s Jack and Karen rolling their eyes in dismay. But our compassionate, ever-smiling widower handles them gingerly, so as not to diminish their appealing mix of disarming vulnerability and frank, I’ve-got-nothing-to-lose desire.
ABC’s “The Golden Bachelor” stars. Back row: Susan, Anna, Kathy, Patty, Peggy, Jeanie, and Joan. … [+]
No doubt the requisite histrionics will soon appear because the show’s conceit demands conflict, tension and lots and lots of tissues. But I can’t picture any these ladies nearly as traumatized as Kylie on this seasons’ Bachelor in Paradise’s who, after five minutes, only has eyes for Will but, OMG, how could Will have kissed Olivia first! Sure, Gerry had already locked lips with about a third of the women by the end of his first episode and—how’s this for a series first? —never once slipped a potential rose recipient the tongue. So sanity and a logical romantic progression prevail—for now.
Jake Pavelka, whom I dressed during the fourteenth season of The Bachelor, was oh-so-cute but that was about his only redeeming quality, as he was less aware of what a woman looks for in a man than WALL-E. But I’m rooting for Gerry. And the women. For the first time, I may be able to tune in to The Bachelor and leave my hearing aids in.