A WOMAN who ended her life at Dignitas left a heartwrenching message saying: “When you watch this, I will be dead.”
Paola Marra was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer in 2021 and always feared she would “die in pain”.
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So instead of allowing that to happen the Canadian, who had lived in London for three past 30 years, made the call to travel to the Swiss assisted dying clinic.
She died yesterday in a foreign country without any loved ones at her side, aged 53.
In the hours after her assisted death, a poignant video made by Paola was shared online.
In the heartbreaking clip she said: “When you watch this, I will be dead. I’m choosing to seek assisted dying because I refuse to let a terminal illness dictate the terms of my existence.
“The pain and suffering can become unbearable. It’s a slow erosion of dignity, the loss of independence, the stripping away of everything that makes life worth living.”
Paola explained that she didn’t see this as a form of weakness but actually a sign of strength.
The 53-year-old continued: “Assisted dying is not about giving up. In fact, it’s about reclaiming control. It’s not about death. It’s about dignity.
“It’s about giving people the right to end their suffering on their own terms, with compassion and respect.
“So as you watch this, I am dead. But you watching this could help change the laws around assisted dying.”
Along with her heartwrenching words, the cancer fighter shared a link to a petition she asked people sign.
It read: “I resent that I don’t have a choice. I think it’s unfair and cruel.”
It outlined that Paola had to spend a massive £15,000 to get her final wish, and also had a letter to parliament attached.
She said she had to leave her loved ones behind to access the clinic, due to the “UK’s blanket ban” on assisted dying.
Paola wrote: “If assisted dying is legal, the end of my life would have been so different.
“I could have had more time with my friends and people who love me. But instead, I will have to go to Dignitas on my own because I don’t want them to be questioned by the police or get into trouble.
“So I will fly alone, and do it alone.”
The London-based woman explained that she did not live to see a law change – but wished she could have.
She wrote: “My hope is that, by the one-year anniversary of my death, there will have been real progress towards giving dying people the hope of a real choice here in the UK.”
Paola’s letter to Parliament
Dear Party Leaders,
My name is Paola, and I have terminal bowel cancer. By the time you read this, I will have died at Dignitas in Switzerland.
I had to leave my loved ones behind and fly alone to have an assisted death abroad, because the UK’s blanket ban on assisted dying would have forced me to suffer as I died.
I know what would have happened if I stayed in the UK – because death from terminal bowel cancer can be awful. I may end up with a burst bowel, which then leads to sepsis. I’ve seen it happen to other people and I know I don’t want to die like that. I’m very sensitive to certain drugs, and I am allergic to most opioids. And I know they won’t be able to control my pain, because it can’t be controlled now.
If assisted dying is legal, the end of my life would have been so different. I could have had more time with my friends and people who love me. But instead, I will have to go to Dignitas on my own because I don’t want them to be questioned by the police or get into trouble. So I will fly alone, and do it alone.
I resent that I don’t have a choice. I think it’s unfair and cruel. And for so many dying people who can’t afford to pay an average of £15,000 to travel to Dignitas, this cruel law will force them to endure a painful death, or drive them to take their own lives. Right now, 17 people a day will suffer as they die. This simply can’t continue. We need law change now.
Every parliamentary constituency in Great Britain now supports giving choice to dying people. Hundreds of millions people around the globe now have access to some form of assisted dying. It’s time that dying people in the UK get the right to choose a peaceful death, too.
As you prepare for the next General Election, I urge you to listen to the voices of dying people like me and bring forward a full debate on assisted dying in the next Parliament as a matter of urgency.
I have not lived to see law change – but there are thousands of dying people right now who are desperately waiting for a compassionate assisted dying law. My hope is that, by the one year anniversary of my death, there will have been real progress towards giving dying people the hope of a real choice here in the UK.
Thank you,
Paola, who died at Dignitas 20th March 2024
In December Dame Esther Rantzen revealed she had joined Dignitas.
The BBC television presenter was told she had stage four terminal cancer in January last year and and does not know how long she has left.
Speaking on the Today Podcast, Esther, 83, said she did not know how long she had to live.
Esther said in December: “I have joined Dignitas.
“I have in my brain thought, ‘Well, if the next scan says nothing’s working I might buzz off to Zurich,’ but, you know, it puts my family and friends in a difficult position because they would want to go with me.
“And that means that the police might prosecute them.
“So we’ve got to do something.
“At the moment, it’s not really working, is it?”
What is Dignitas?
Dignitas is a non-profit society which provides assisted or accompanied suicide to its members, provided their wishes are signed off by independent doctors.
Founded in 1998, over 2,100 people have died with Dignitas’ help, in assisted suicides at home or at the society’s house near Zürich.
The Swiss society helps members with severe physical or mental illnesses, as well as the terminally ill, to end their own lives.
Dignitas also does advisory work on end-of-life care, healthcare and suicide prevention, as well as lobbying governments on right-to-die laws.
Dignitas rents a number of apartments in Zurich, and also has a house near the city.
They offer assisted suicide at the house, as well as giving members the choice to die at their homes in Switzerland.
Founded in 1998, over 2,100 people have died with Dignitas’ help, in assisted suicides at home or at the society’s house near Zürich.
The Swiss society helps members with severe physical or mental illnesses, as well as the terminally ill, to end their own lives.
Members who want an assisted death have to prove that they are of sound judgement, and have to be able to bring about their deaths themselves.
They must submit a formal request, including a letter explaining why they want to die, and have their wishes approved by doctors who aren’t part of the organisation.
British patients wishing to die have travelled to Switzerland to pay for an assisted death at one of Dignitas’ rented apartments.
Both euthanasia and assisted suicide are illegal in the UK, with euthanasia carrying a maximum penalty of life in jail.
The only exception to this is “passive euthanasia”, which involves the withdrawal of treatment to extend someone’s life, like a life support machine being turned off.
In Switzerland, active euthanasia is also illegal, although it is not a crime to prescribe lethal drugs, provided the recipient takes an active role in taking them.
Essentially, Swiss law only allows for providing the means to commit suicide, so long as the reasons for doing so aren’t selfish.
Dignitas reportedly charges between €4,000 (£3,600) and €7,000 (£6,400) for assisted suicide.
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